Awake and Awareness. My Little Bit of Buddhism.

Since I stayed home this weekend and really the only exciting thing worth mentioning is that we had a birthday party for Ahnika and went to a carnival (where I almost got whip-lash on one ride and rode the Tilt-A-Whirl 3 times). But in class last Thursday we talked about homesickness. There is this common back and forth feeling of homesickness that pretty much all study-abroad students feel about this time of the trip...and yet I am not. I am very excited about this news because this was my time to prove to myself that I will be able to handle possibly living outside of the United States in the future. Since my entire life is changing the minute I step foot on the plane home, Peru is what's comfortable to me. I know Peru, I know how to live here. When I return to America, my real life begins. I am an adult. I walk across the graduation stage and then move on to the rest of my life as an adult. I don't know how to do that. I still call my mom for what to take when I have a cold. The pressure I feel is immense. I have already seen jobs get taken down before I get a chance to apply for them, and have been turned down by a few.... what the heck am I qualified for!? (I am still not sure why so many entry-level jobs require __ years of experience... hello! entry level??) Anyway, with all this craziness in my life, I have started thinking more and more about my need for awareness in my current life.

The street art responsible for my inspiration

Translates to "AWAKE"

I took an Eastern Psychology class in school a few years ago and I have been thinking about it a lot lately. Buddhism is something I think everyone should try at least once. No, Buddhism is not always a religion (which I thought it was before the class), it is more a way of life...a philosophy. It is being aware of everything in your life and realizing that everything is connected...or to use the correct terminology, everything is one. It is about respect for everything/everyone, and awareness. I have found awareness to really be lacking in my life lately. To be awake is to notice and take in. In class we meditated everyday. Sometimes we walked and meditated, and one day we even ventured outside to admire the beauty and simplicity of the life outside. Being alone with your thoughts and focusing on calm and peace is relaxing. There are too many times when people are so caught up with errands, homework, work and thousands of other things. But taking a moment out of your day to reflect is a beautiful thing.

Living in a new place can be overwhelming. Everything is different. But I try my hardest to be awake throughout the day and notice as much as I can. So much of life passes by without us realizing it if we are caught up in our phones or worries. I am not saying I don't look at my phone or stress out often, but I am making an effort to live in the moment and respect the time I have. I am here, so why not let it inspire me? Walking to class everyday, I make sure to notice the beauty of the trees, the way the man fixing the concrete is hunched over cracking the sidewalk by hand, the dogs playing in the lot across from my house, the hummingbird that occasionally visits my window. It may all seem unimportant, but who's to say what is important and what is not? There is so much life going on all around you that, when noticed, it can be amazing. Just wondering about the life of someone or something that you don't know. What has this tree seen? How far has this bird flown?

I am at a stressful time in my life (yes, I realize it may not seem like it because, to you, it looks like I'm on vacation 24/7. Trust me, I'm in no way saying living here is in any way bad, but...). Classes are in a different language and are pretty difficult. This is my final semester of college- college life as I know it is pretty much over. The stress of finding a real job is starting to weigh down on me. Life when I go back to America will be so different: as a person, I have changed from this experience, and I will be moving to a new place- any place that will take me- to begin a career. I have spent a lot of time at home watching Netflix lately and I think I'm terrible for doing that. But when everything costs money and I'm accustomed to working at least 20+ hours a week, not having an income is a little stressful (and I'm a little stingy with my money sometimes- emphasis on the sometimes).
These are my stresses. These are the things I am trying not to worry about. But I'm not perfect.

Awake. Live in the moment. Enjoy the moment. Don't let life pass you by. How many cliches can I tell myself until it finally clicks? So I start thinking, when will I ever live here again? When will I ever have these experiences again? The future is the future, but life is happening everywhere around me here. It is time to notice it, before it's too late.